Sunday, January 22, 2012

A Journey Not My Own

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."
Proverbs 19:21

Like most girls at a young age, I carried around the dreams and desires of getting married and having a family.  I began planning and dreaming as a teenager and looking forward to when those desires would come to pass.  I had planned to go to college, become a teacher, get married, have my children, and take our family vacations together.  Those were just a few of my plans and I was looking forward to watching my life unfold and seeing these dreams come to fruition.  

Well, as time passed, God began to unveil that HIS plans and purpose for my life were on a very different time line than that which I myself had planned.  

I had the wonderful opportunity of going to college and following my dreams of becoming a teacher. 

But while in college I was given the amazing opportunity of being part of a discipleship group. Through the accountability and fun of being part of this group, I began realizing my love for God's Word and my desire to help others grow as followers of Jesus Christ! 

One night, while at a Christmas conference for college students in Gatlinburg, TN, I remember kneeling down by a recliner in my hotel room and surrendering my plans to God- asking Him to use me however He desired. I soon realized that choosing to surrender my plans to Him meant I had to learn how to daily implement the truths in Proverbs 3:5&6 and "Trust in the Lord with all of my heart and lean not to my own understanding, but in all my ways acknowledge Him and He will direct my paths." (Even when He chooses to take you down The Path Less Traveled."

After graduating from college, I was offered a job teaching school in Piedmont, AL.  

My teaching career was amazing and I soon learned that God allowed me to teach for many different reasons; one being that it left my summers open to do missions work. 

I had the amazing privilege of working many summers under the leadership of Eddie Nichols and Breakaway Ministry. Through this ministry, I was given the opportunity to live out my desire/calling to invest into other followers of Jesus Christ. I loved leading bible studies and striving to be salt that made these high school and college students thirsty for God's Word; all the while being challenged in my own walk to not only know God's Word, but live my life in light of knowing it.  I loved having the opportunity to go on mission trips to Mexico, China, and India.  God had opened many doors and I was excited and ready to go through them; but I must admit, I still had that lingering desire to be married and a mom.  

Striving daily to seek hard after the Lord, I continued to surrender my desires into His hands. I know that we serve a God who is faithful, trustworthy, and able to do exceedingly, abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine. I truly believe that and I desired to trust Him, but I will be the first to admit that there were many nights where that surrender came with tears, knowing that while I longed to see HIS PURPOSE prevail, I still desired to be married and a mom.  

From teaching school to summer missions, God used numerous friends, family, and students to fill the void in my life of being single.  My twenties came and went and I was now thirty and striving hard to fulfill the purpose God had for my life... even with the lingering desire to be married and a mom.

I would lie if I told you that being single wasn't hard for me, but I know now, especially looking back, that, God proved Himself during that season of my life in ways that were beyond my wildest expectations! (And He is still doing that today!)

I'll explain more in tomorrow's post!

"A man's steps are directed by the Lord, how then can anyone understand his own way?"
 Proverbs 20:24